Free dissertation on Love

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Throughout history there is always been one driving force that kept people going. That one thing that kept people going was love. There are three types of love which are Storge, Phileo, and Eros. Storge is a love that is seen in a family. This love helps us grow and believe what we believe. Then you have Phileo love which is brotherly love. This is the love that is shown between our friends and is why they are our friends. Finally there is Eros love which is the love for beautiful things. This love drives us towards the things that we find attractive. Although all these loves have played a part in the way that our society was shaped in the past and has made it what it is today, there is one love that sticks out to me and that is Eros.

Eros love has shaped our lives, homes, cities, country, and the world as we know it today. You can look at any event in history and there is something in that event that had to deal with Eros love. In today’s society no matter where you look you see the Eros love slammed in your face. Looking at television, movies, songs, literature, media, fashion, and merchandising to name a few you see that representation of the desire to go for and to have what you and the world perceives as beautiful.

With the way that Eros love is presented in today’s society there are many things that the church could do to help and prevent the Eros love from going sour. There are five things that I will talk about in my paper that the church could do to help Eros love remain pure.

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The five items are keep corruption from church officials, be open to everybody, help those that are in need, living up to what they preach, and show the love in every aspect of their daily lives.
As I was deciding which love I was going to write about I looked at the definitions that C. S. Lewis gives in the book The Four Loves. After carefully looking at them and picturing what are world was like I easily made the decision on Eros because of his definition of it. In The Four Loves C.S. Lewis describes Eros love as:
The thing is a sensory pleasure; that is, an event occurring within one’s own body…The reader will notice that Eros thus wonderfully transforms what is par excellence a Need-Pleasure into the most Appreciative of all pleasures. It is the nature of a Need-Pleasure to show us the object solely in relation to our need, even our momentary need. But in Eros, a Need, at its most intense, sees the object most intensely as a thing admirable in herself( Lewis 94-95).
As Lewis is explaining here Eros is all about the desire to posses what is beautiful. As I took a closer look at the world and what really drives it, both now and in the past, I realized that what everybody in the world wants is in their eyes beautiful. By realizing everything is a need-pleasure it made me think about it more in depth than I had previously done.

Lewis’s definition of Eros was good, but I decided to see what some other people thought and I ended up going to the internet and found this definition: “Eros is more than physical, it is mental as well…Eros is the whispers of love ( Hondl.)” This shows that Eros love is in control of more people then think it is.
Eros is the love that has controlled the way that are society thinks and thought in the past no matter what type of material you are talking about. Looking at literature there are millions and millions of books, short stories, and poems that are all about Eros love. Eros love is even in the stories you don’t believe it would be in. The story I am talking about is from A Doll’s House. In the play A Doll’s House Torvald Helmer is mad at his wife for taking a loan out and he is worried it is going to destroy his career:
Torvald: Now you’ve wrecked all my happiness–ruined my whole future. Oh, it’s awful to think of. I’m in a cheap grafter’s hands; he can do anything he wants with me…It’s so incredible, I just can’t grasp it. But we’ll have to patch up whatever we can…The thing has to be hushed up at any cost (Ibsen 218).
By Torvald talking to his wife like this we see that his Eros love is concentrated with his job and not with wife like a married person with three kids should have his love concentrated to.

As we look to other parts of time in our history we can see that everybody has taken there way for Eros love. Even looking at one of the biggest tragedies that has happened in the world the underlying love to it was Eros. Looking at World War II and Hitler I see that Hitler was driven by Eros love. I know you are shocked by me saying this but yes Hitler was driven by Eros love. He had the desire to control the world and make it an Arian race. By Hitler wanting to get rid of the Jews and to take over the world he decided to go for what he believed was beautiful and what he desired as a Need-Pleasure.

Although Hitler, one of the most ruthless person to ever live, did what he did partially because of his Eros love most Eros love is a good thing. We this good Eros love in the story by The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry. In the story Della and James Dillingham Young both have Eros love for each other and they are stuck on what to give the other for Christmas but they don’t have the money to buy each other presents so they end up selling their prized possessions to get the other a present. When they find out their response is an Eros response: “said Della. “It’s sold, I tell you–sold and gone, too…said he…I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose you put the chops on (Henry). Their love for each other is part of an Eros bond as they both are astonished at each others beauty and want to please the other at any cost.

I called my mom in Oregon and asked her what she thought of when I asked her, “What is Eros love?”. She replied, “Sitting on the beach watching God’s beauty in nature and everything that he has created (Rossman.)” As I look at her response it made me think that Eros love really is true love that controls how the world is effected by Eros.
In the story Love is a Fallacy Max Shulman represents Eros love very uniquely and shows yet another way in today’s society how Eros controls are daily lives. As the two friends are at college something comes that one wants and the other has.

“…he declared. “I’d give anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!”…”Anything?” I asked, looking at him narrowly. “Anything,” he affirmed…Petey plunged his hands into the raccoon coat…“Would you like it?” I asked. “Oh yes!” he cried…”What do you want for it?” “Your girl” I said…”Is it a deal?” I asked, extending my hand. He swallowed. “It’s a deal,” he said and shook my hand.

Since Petey had the girl, which was the desire of Dobie, Dobie found something that Petey wanted so he was able to get the girl which was his Eros love. He wanted the girl and did what he had to get her.
But while Dobie had a desire for a girl Tom in The Glass Menagerie, by Tennessee Williams, had the desire to get away from the situation he was in. We see he had a very strong desire to get away because of what his mom was doing to him. As he got back from one of his nights out he said: “Tom: …But the wonder fullest trick of all was the coffin trick. We nailed him into a coffin and he got out of the coffin without removing one nail. There is a trick that would come in handy for me– get me out of the 2 by 4 situation (Williams.)” As I looked at what Tom says here I shows me that he is disgusted at the Storge relationship he has at home and wants Eros love for freedom to happen.

A key example, in my opinion, is that from the book Till We Have Faces, by C. S. Lewis, shows the huge Eros love that the ugly Orual has for the beautiful Psyche. The entire book is about how Orual wishes and drives to posses Psyche and have her all to her self, but in the end she realized that she couldn’t have what she wanted.
But to steal her love from me!…The girl was mine. What right had you to steal her away into your dreadful heights?…I was my own and Psyche was mine and no one else had any right to her.
She believes that the God’s were mad at her and that they took her away from her so she was unable to have what she really wanted. Because of this she is unable to have what drove her in the first place, which made her end up losing it and go insane.
Maybe the most influential part of our literature that Eros love has taken over is in our poetry. Almost every poem that is written has to do with love for something beautiful. I look at this poem by Ben Jensen:
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I’ll not ask for wine.
The thirst that from the soul doth rise
Doth ask a drink divine;
But might I of Jove’s nectar sup,
I would not change for thine ( Madden).
In this poem title “To Celia” Mr. Jensen is talking about a special girl who he wants and that he says that he will only stay with her and will let nothing else stop him from loving her.

Since I have taken you to the past literature and shown you how Eros has affected it and how it has dominated are literature I will now take you to the present day. What do you see when you are out walking the streets on a bright sunny day? Most likely you will end up seeing either a buff guy with a tight shirt on or an attractive looking girl with very small clothing on. The men and women of today dress with sex appeal because they desire that attention from the opposite sex and they want it even if it is going to be degrading to them. You see this everywhere look at magazines, television, and movies. When I was talking to a friend he said, “Sex sells (Lehr)”. I look at his words and realize how true they really are. This is easy to see in life today. Look at almost any magazine that the main target seller is men and there is a sexual picture of a women on it. Looking at just the cover of a few of the magazines: “Casual Sex Friday’s (Maxim)”, “Her Sexy Secrets, girlfriends come clean (FHM)”, and “NFL’s Sexiest Sportscaster, Lisa Dergan she is hut, hut, Hot (Stuff)”. Just in three magazines we that it is obvious that sex sells. And that the world is driven by people wanting more and more of it.

Movies are a huge area of how sex sells. Looking at some of the movies that they have released in the last three years: American Pie, American Pie 2, American Beauty, Road Trip, Old School, and The Real Cancun. These are just some of the movies that involve Eros love in a sexual way. Many others involve Eros in a way where someone is desiring an item in an Eros type way.

You may be saying that this really isn’t that good of an argument of why Eros has shaped are world, but I ask you What has Phileo and Storge love done for the world. I look at the way are world is and I see corrupt and problem related Storge and Phileo bonds all over the place.

With Phileo love it most likely will be over ran by an Eros love. I look at my two closest Phileo bonds that I ever had. One was when I was in six grade. By best friend, Cody, and I would do everything together. We always were over at each others place and we never stopped hanging out until we entered middle school it all changed. There was this girl named Melissa that came into the picture. All of a sudden he completely changed especially when she was around. We had talked about it together and we both liked her, but what he did to get her ended up costing are friendship. It was both embarrassing and humiliating. He ended pulling my pants down when I was talking to the girl that we both liked. As I was in sixth grade I was so humiliated that I never talked to the girl again and I ended up never talking to Cody again.

The second time my best friend (then) , after I had moved a few years before, and I were hanging out all the time and we were very close, we did everything together. We went to games, dances, everything we did not involving work we did together. Until one day I found out that he was smoking marijuana and I didn’t think it was the smart thing to do so I told him that he should stop, but he did not listen to me and he continued to smoke it. So I figured that I would be a true friend and tell his parents what he was doing. To say the least he wasn’t to happy that I told his parents and since then he has been arrested and thrown in jail, but I haven’t talked to him since he punched me in the face as I walked up to him after I told his parents. These two incidences really make me think strongly that Phileo love did not help shape our world and that Eros love really is the true shaping love.

Storge love hasn’t done anything for the world except for screwing it up. You can look at the world that we currently live in and you see screwed up people. The majority of those people are coming from screwed up Storge relationships. Looking at two main things that I can think of that would destroy a Storge relationship. The first is that of abuse and the second would be divorce.

As you look into a family more and more of them we see abuse is a major problem with in that family. As a Christian I can’t imagine why somebody would do anything to abuse either their spouse or their children, but there are many people in the world that do it to their family members daily. Even as I sit here writing this and you are sitting reading this somebody is being abused by a family member. If this is the way that are world and society has been shaped I definitely don’t want to live in it.

The second thing that really destroys family and has destroyed millions and millions of Storge relationships is divorce. Looking at some statistics for the divorce rate we find that “50% of American marriages will end in divorce ( Robinson)” this shows that the rate that the Storge bond is breaking at is amazingly big which is tearing are society apart more than shaping it and moving it forwards like Eros is.

The church can help prevent Eros love from spoiling by actually living up to what they preach, get rid of the corruption from church officials, be open to everybody, help those that are in need, and show the love in every aspect of their daily lives. With the addition of Agape love Eros will become purer then it currently is in are society. Eros love, although it has shaped and created the society now and present, has gone in a violent funnel down the tube as the world gradually grows worse and worse.

The first thing the church could do is get rid of high officials in the church that are corrupted and that bring down the name of the church. Most known is the Catholic church and their priests that molested the young alter boys. They need to get rid of those that are being hypocrites and abuse their powers. In Matthew chapter 7 verse 5 Jesus is saying, “you hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” This is telling us that we shouldn’t do one thing when we preach another. This verse also goes with the church needing to show the love in every aspect of their daily lives. As most Christians I know they are hypocritical and preach one thing yet do that thing later on that day or later on in the week.

Secondly the church can help Eros love from spoiling and going further down the drain then it already is, is by being open to everybody and trying to help out everybody no matter what they have done. As the Bible says, “For the wages of sin is death…(Romans 6:23) this says that no matter what sin it is it equals death so if a guy is gay and wants to join a church, or if a person goes and robs a bank, or if a person tells a lie they are all equal and they all equal eternal damnation. Because of this the church should never cast away a person because they don’t like the sin of the person, but they should open up there arms wide and let the person know that they are wanted.

Finally the last one is that you need to be open to help somebody when they need it. Every once in a while you will com across a person that you just flat out don’t like but the Christ thing to do would help them out. By helping them out this helps strengthens the Eros love in the world as you will have the desire to help them out like Jesus did to those that were going to crucify him. The things that pops into my head is when he healed the guards ear that Peter cut off with a sword. So we need to be able to go and help with a joy full heart and desire to do it.

With the world being around as long Eros has played the major role of how our society has and still is following the true leader of the loves, which is desire to own what is beautiful. So no matter which way you look at it from Adam and Eve to May 12, 2003 the world has and will always be lead by Eros love.

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