“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”—Franklin D. Roosevelt. These words have shown how fear has constricted my life in such a way that I never had the chance to accept life’s thrills. As long as fear is in control, I worry that I will never enjoy my life to the fullest. Once I was a truck driver for the most successful trucking businesses in Canada, but due to fear, my world has turned into a giant ball of anxiety. Fear, itself, that has negatively affected my life by causing me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and contact with both my family and friends. They were all affected directly by my phobias.
My job was the first thing to go. I worked for K&G Trucking, which was the best trucking agency in the Southeastern region of Canada until one day I had a major accident that left me with severe injuries and two weeks the hospital. When I was released, I was in good health; at least that is what I thought. As I walked slightly outside the hospital, the sight of all the cars made me vomit perpetually. It became so bad that the doctors did not know what to do, so they tool me to a psychiatric facility. There the psychiatrist diagnosed me with amaxophobia (fear of automobiles). That day marked the beginning of the end of my existence.
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Next my girlfriend, Cray, began to turn against me. My friend Eric had informed her of my foolish fear. At first, she was willing to assist me in overcoming my fears. Cray attempted to trick me numerous times into going places just to get me out of the house; it never worked. Since she worked for K&G as well, she rarely missed work. I saw less and less of her as she put in overtime to make ends meet. As the days passed, I could tell that her interest was fading. On routine, I sat in my rocking chair in anticipation of her arrival, but I suppose this particular day seemed longer than others. I waited for hours until I began to panic. I got so distressed that I walked to my friend’s house to find comfort, but instead, I found Eric and Cray together. Then I knew where all that overtime was spent.
Lastly, the rest of my days began to deteriorate. Contact with family and friends faded. Days grew to weeks and weeks grew to days. By this time my fears grew worse. Soon ambulophobia (walking) and agyrophobia (crossing the street) began to take affect. My mom often came to check on me. She was in disbelief that I could be scared of this many things but I insisted were true. I remember one point in time she prepared me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Not thinking twice about it, I took a bite of it. Next thing I know I getting up from the floor. She explained to me how I bit the sandwich and fainted. Oh great! Now I have arachibutyrophobia (peanut butter sticking to roof of mouth).
During my journey, I have had several opportunities to go and do what the brave dare not partake. By only wondering what it would have been like to pursue my career, does not take the place of the actual reality. Now I realize how irrational my phobias are and what fear can do to one’s life. I am enslaved to my imagination and bound by fear. I am afraid. Fear has constricted my life.
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